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Wednesday, May 27, 2009,1:34 PM

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY !!!

Special Birthday Post

Yo!!!

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, LAUREL !!!!!!! =)

May God bless you and strengthen YOU in every way.

Jiayou and always stay cheerful.

RaInBowLy,

Shu Wen

Saturday, May 23, 2009,7:58 AM

EQ,IQ.

Hi!I am Brainniie
I love to exercise because
it boost my EQ & IQ!!!

What is EQ?

EQ : Emotional Intelligence Quotient.
EQ is a measure of a person’s emotional intelligence. However, there is much debate surrounding the legitimacy of a definition of emotional intelligence quotient, because there is no standard against which it can be measured.

Many businesses utilize EQ tests to help their employees determine and measure their emotional responses.While most corporate EQ tests are administered
on the basis that a person’s EQ can be modified or increased, there is dispute about whether emotional intelligence is standard or can be changed.

Studies being conducted on possible ways that an EQ may affect a person’s abilities to perform under pressure, resolve conflict, and generally cope with challenges. For those who are not proponents of the concept believe these abilities are simply a matter of personality, which cannot be measured or modified. Other studies have linked EQ measurements to communication and other social skills that people either lack or possess.

An EQ test may give insight into a person’s personality and psychological make up,
but discovering the true meaning of EQ and its relationship to and impact on a person’s life and social performance may be years and many studies away from anything definitive.

EQ, simply the value indicating the level of tolerance, empathy and compassion, resilience to bounce back from emotional ups and downs.

How about IQ?

IQ: Intelligent quotient.

IQ test measures mathematical and spatial reasoning, logical ability, and language understanding. Thus a person who is speaking English as a second language might
score poorly on the language comprehension aspects of a test.

Some things can negatively impact IQ score.
Malnutrition in children who are tested, and fetal alcohol syndrome, or maternal addiction. Mental retardation or conditions that deteriorate the brain’s capacity to remember like Alzheimer’s disease also causes IQ scores to be lower.

IQ may also be impacted by lack of appropriate education, often due to disparity in educational funding. If these disparities are corrected, then IQ scores normally increase, and an IQ test would not be an adequate measurement of intelligence.

Limitation of IQ test:

IQ test does not measure things like life experience, wisdom, or personal qualities like being a good friend or a devoted spouse. So it is not a predictor of a person’s quality or worth, though it has occasionally been used as such.

People can also train to take IQ tests, which can increase scoring. However, it is not known whether a person who scores higher because of training or repeated testing is actually more intelligent. It is verifiable that the trained person does better on the IQ test than the person who is not trained.

Studies on brain size and development and IQ scores:

Specifically the frontal lobe of the brain seems to be the most indicative method for prediction of IQ scores. Larger frontal lobes tend to result in larger IQs.

Contentious debate in evaluating the IQ test, as to whether nature or nurture most influences IQ scores. As well, debate exists as to how much IQ scores should be used as a predictor of behavior. Some are concerned that IQ scores might negatively affect the perception of colleges, private schools or employers if used to determine employability or acceptance into schools.

Viewpoints:

EQ can be more important than IQ. Smart people, children as well as adults, may not achieve success and happiness in life if they lack of EQ, whereas they may be high in IQ.

Plenty of examples available in various famous personalities possessing a very high level of IQ, but comparatively lower level of EQ, resulting different life-problems, especially in inter-personal and social.This relates to real-life society.

We can be highly educated but if we do not how to handle matters which relates to how people feel and get along with our colleagues or anyone around us,we might simply be facing difficulties due to a lack of EQ.We are not sensitive to the needs of people around us.

There are more things that we need to consider about.
EQ is important as well in order to balance out with our IQ.Perhaps in real world , what people need sometime far beyond just cognitive skills but we do handles emotions.This is where EQ comes in.It affect our relationship satisfaction,health and happiness and effectiveness in life.

EQ,IQ,so what?
From my point of view,both are just mutually reliant and equally important to
live a successful and happy life.

Rainbowly,
Shu Wen =D

Wednesday, May 20, 2009,1:30 AM

Ways Of Increasing Our Motivation

Enthusiasm and motivation are key principles for getting anything done. If we are motivated and committed we find ways to get round obstacles. If we lack motivation then we easily find difficulties and excuses to give up. To increase our motivation we really need to be clear what we want to do.

These are some tips to Increase Your Motivation

Be Clear What You Wish to Achieve

It is important to know what is important to you. Think carefully about what really matters. If you consciously give something a high priority, then this is half the battle for gaining motivation. We often struggle to gain motivation for an activity / issue because we are not clear in our mind about what we wish to achieve.

For example, we may go through life with a vague idea it would be good to get up earlier in the morning, but, only if we really see benefits will we have motivation

Just Act!

We can only be fully committed to a certain number of things; we need to prioritise what is important. However, whilst it is important to be aware of life’s priorities, we don’t want to spend too long just thinking. If we sit around planning and thinking, the mind will find innumerable problems and complications which reduce our motivation. The best thing is to get started and through yourself wholeheartedly into a project. Once you get started and focus on a project it develops a certain energy which is self reinforcing.

I teach Economics and many of my students say how worried about the exams they are and how they haven’t time. But, their real problem is just to get started with work and revision. The worst is just sitting around saying how little time they have.

Don’t Rely on External Praise

Often we lack motivation because we feel our efforts are not fully recognised. To be willing to work without praise is a real boon. The secret is to feel the satisfaction from doing the right thing and giving ourselves the opportunity for our self-improvement. We shouldn’t just be motivated for the end result, but, for the challenge of getting there. Be kind to yourself and notice the satisfaction you gain from doing the right thing in the right attitude, this will always be worth more than the fleeting praise of others.

Satisfaction.

Lasting motivation will come when we get joy from doing something. The problem is we often feel worthwhile changes of projects require self-discipline, sacrifice and difficulties. It is this which discourages and de-motivates. We need to change our attitude, rather than thinking of the sacrifice or discipline we need to undergo, focus on the lasting sense of achievement we get.

Remove Distractions

To increase our motivation to do something useful, we often need to avoid the distractions that pull us away into insignificant things. After sitting in front of the TV for one hour flicking through channels or surfing useless internet sites, it is remarkable how much motivation can disappear!

Be of Service

If we just think of ourself then it is hard to do difficult things. However, if we really try to emphasise with others then it is much easier to be motivated to make difficult changes. See: Helping an alcoholic.

Understand Costs and Benefits

We have a tendency to stumble from one crisis to the next. If we get stomach pains we reach for the stomach pills rather than looking at our diet. Often we need motivation for activities where benefits are long term and costs are short term. But, looking after our health, for example, will give much benefit in the long term. We just need to remind ourselves of the costs and benefits.

Look After Your Energy and Health

A fit body is very helpful for any change we wish to make. See: How to Cope with low energy levels.

Cheers!!!

<<>>

Friday, May 15, 2009,9:43 PM

An Inspiring Piece of Message to share

This is how the message goes:

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?
Or saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart.
If you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not to become a couple because you were so
afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,
but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid. Afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done,
or could have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't
have them?

What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face.
For life is a swift and terrible race.
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine if we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say,
"I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir"
"Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
People live, and people die. I want to tell you that you are my friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't be afraid to express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.

And most importantly,
stay close to your friends and family,
for they have helped make you
the person that you are today.

If you died tomorrow you would be in my heart.
Would I be in yours?

If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back.

We might be best friends one year,
pretty good friends the next year,
don't talk that often the next,
and don't want to talk at all the year after that.

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I care about you. "

[Hmm..Personally,I find this a piece of wonderful and sweet message that I would like to share here with everyone out there.Is all about the word "Cherish" as life is short and sometime what had done cannot be undone but we just have to move on , work hard to make ourselves a better person.=) ]
Last on all..No regrets.=)

Be inspired,<3
Shu Wen

Thursday, May 14, 2009,7:37 PM

Difficult Things to Do...

There are many things that we aspire to do, but, for some reason they remain quite difficult. It is better to have the right intention and be aware of how difficult they are. These are some of the things that are very difficult to do and how we could make them a little more practical.

Admit We’re Wrong

Nearly all of us find it difficult to admit we were wrong. It stems from a false belief that we somehow always expect ourselves to be right. Part of the problem is our pride. We feel embarrassed to admit we get things wrong; we feel it somehow diminishes our own standing. But, to admit we were wrong is a sign of strength, flexibility and humility. People will never think ill of us simply because we admit to making a mistake. The mind’s insistence on trying to justify everything we do merely creates problems for ourselves and others. We need to change our mindset and be happy to admit to mistakes without feelings of guilt or humbled pride.
“Why do we find it so difficult to confess our mistake’s? The immediate answer is fear. What is fear? Fear is something that constantly binds us. Fear is something that constantly tells us that we are entirely different or separate from others, that our existence is only for ourselves.”

Be Non Judgemental

We come across many people in life. Some we like, some we develop dislike. Our mind is constantly judging. We judge people on their appearance, on what they say. Then our interactions with them are clouded by our judgement. It is much better to have a clear mind without prejudging others.

Accept Criticism in Good Spirit

Criticism can be an excellent opportunity to learn and develop. Without criticism we may continue to make mistakes and gain a large ego. Yet, despite the benefits of receiving constructive criticism. We feel challenged and personally affronted. We love to receive praise but struggle to deal with criticism.

Be Cheerful under all Circumstances

Life gives us ups and downs, whether we like it or not. There is nothing we can do about our circumstances. Sometimes fate gives us challenging circumstances. Becoming miserable does not help, it only makes the situation more difficult. To remain cheerful in difficult circumstances is a great boon. Cheerfulness can overcome many obstacles and help us to discover light even in seemingly difficult times. But, unfortunately, when things don’t go to plan we start feeling sorry for ourselves and glum. Of course, this does not help; but, this is what we tend to do.

Practise what we Preach

Alas, it is easy to say what we should do, but, it is another thing to do it! If world peace could be attained by good intentions it would be achieved a long time ago. Quite often we know what we should do, we hear our voice of conscience or message from our heart, but, some other force prevents us from doing the right thing.
Even worse, we tell others what to do - when we have no intention of doing it ourselves. Still to have good intentions is a start. What we need to do is talk a little less and act a little more. Putting into effect our good intentions is the real challenge.

Listen

Everyone wants to talk, but, how many have time to listen? Listening is a great art. Just listening to others can help them to work out their problems. They don’t need our advice, but, they may need an opportunity to work out what they should do. If you dominate conversations and always like to have the last word. Sit back and try to listen, especially to those who are shy or need a reliable friend

Do One Thing at a Time

Simplicity and focus is a great virtue. But, we feel if we can try to do 2 things at once we will get more done. Alas, this rarely works, we just get stressed from the demands we place on ourselves; stress that need not be there.

Get Up early in the morning

How beautiful it is to get up at dawn, listening to the dawn chorus before the rush of humanity enters the day. Unfortunately, the body doesn’t always follow our own good intentions.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009,8:01 PM

Looking Young at Heart

Nobody really likes getting older. But, to think of ageing purely as a physical process is to miss the importance of our mental outlook. If we want we can easily remain young at heart - whatever our age.

Sometimes we see someone in his twenties and already he is grumbling like an old man. But, at the same time we see someone in their 70s and they have the life and attitude of a young child. To remain young at heart and forgetful of our outer age is a real blessing which enables us to enjoy life whatever our advancing age may be.

Secrets to Remaining Young at heart

Spend Time With Children.
Children enjoy life from the heart. To see a child’s smile uplifts even the hardest heart. If we spend time with serious old people we will feel a serious old person too.

Don’t Identify your Self with Your Physical Age.

Everyday we look in the mirror and gain the habit of identifying our sense of self with the body. Thus when we see grey hairs and rinkles appearing we feel older - because our body is becoming older. But to remain young in heart and mind, our physical appearance is an irrelevance. We need to break the link between our physical condition and state of mind. We try to keep the body healthy. But, our sense of self should never be dictated by the number of summers this body has seen.

Be Spontaneous.

A childlike attitude is spontaneous and free. A child can take joy in simple things because it is not mentally creating a 5 year plan to buy a new TV. Try to listen to your heart and do things which give you innocent pleasure. Spend less time thinking and more time living in the present moment.

Don’t Spend Time Picking Faults

When we criticise others,We do not go forward.We just go backward,To our greatest shock.
- Sri Chinmoy
It is complaining and grumbling which really gives us a feeling of being old and weary. Unfortunately, as we get older we get into a mental habit of finding fault and criticising the innumerable problems of the world. It is this tendency to be critical which really gives us an ageing outlook. A critical attitude has an impact upon ourselves. It is we who become negative, yet, of course, our criticisms never improve the world.

Be Active

If we are active we don’t have time to get depressed about our old age. Compete with yourself and not others and get joy from transcending your own goals.

Stop Being Guilt of Your Age

I know many people close to me, who really feel bad if you ask them how old they are. They tell their age with such reluctance - as if they had just been diagnosed with some serious illness. Be proud to have more experience and more years under your belt. Becoming older in age is nothing to feel bad about.